Yesterday was a little tough. I felt inadequate in everything I did; from my blog to working out to the way I looked to how smart I am, everything. It was even effecting my creativity to make a blog post. And when my creativity is being targeted I get even more self critical. I start having PTSD flashbacks from college when I studied dance. Every other Friday if we were working on a piece we had to show the ENTIRE department during the showcase. Entire department meaning every student and faculty member. You show your dance to them and each faculty member (and some students) critique it. It can be pretty embarrassing, even though it does give you thick skin. Anyway, everything I did yesterday felt as if I was not good enough, like a complete failure. I do not want to get into what sent me in this downward spiral, but it lead me to calling my mom to melodramatically say I want to quit everything. She pointed out that what was happening really does not effect my business, my personal life, who I am and also that as long as I am doing the best that I can it will be alright. Moms…. they know best.
