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Today I am going to get a little vulnerable despite my insecurities and talk about something that I have been dealing with for the last few month. Something I have been hiding from the world, not wanting to leave my apartment in embarrassment and out of insecurity.  Even though I have been dealing with this issue for months it wasn’t until last week when I found out I have perioral dermatitis. Not sure what it is? Me either until I got it.  So lets start from the beginning.

If you have been reading my blog for the past few months you would know that I have been complaining about having eczema on my face. It started around Thanksgiving and just wouldn’t go away. It kept spreading, getting more irritated and inflamed. After two facials I finally had enough and went to see my dermatologist in January. From the looks of it she said it was either a bacterial infection or eczema. She gave me a topical cream to use, but that only irritated it more. The next thing I knew my little rash just below my bottom lip spread all the way around my mouth and up to my nose. I was embarrassed and scared. If this was a bacterial infection, WHERE did it come from and WHAT the hey is it? I felt gross. And the worst part, NYFW was approaching.

I had a follow up appointment at the end of February for a checkup and to find out my results–she took a little sample of my skin to test, I felt like a reptile the way she was speaking to me. Anyway, after its triumphed spread I panicked and went to urgent care. I was going to stop whatever this was right away. I went to UC to demand antibiotics. Unfortunately she would not prescribe anything to me. She said she did not want to tamper with what the dermatologist had given me–the cream, even though I stopped using it. To say that I was furious and frustrated would be an understatement. I was livid. I wanted this thing gone and I wanted it gone right now. So I went home and called my dermatologist and rescheduled my appointment for an earlier date.

The second my dermatologist looked at me she said this is a classic case, you have periorial dermatitis (my test was negative about bacteria, thank god). I had her explain to me what perioral dermatitis was as I have never heard of it before. Basically it is a form of rosacea. I have never had rosacea before, so I was surprised to hear that but a little bit relieved. The exact cause of it is unknown but skincare products, makeup, nasal spray, and toothpaste are leading causes. It is very common in women ages 20-45. Men and children can get it, but it’s rare. Perioral dermatitis does not go away on its own and needs to be treated by a dermatologist. I got PD from one of the skincare products I have been using that was given to me as a brand product gift. Skincare and makeup are always in goodie bags given after an event. I test different products all of the time and my skin basically just had enough.  I was grateful to finally put a name to the issue and to know I didn’t get it from the subway or the gym and that it was not contagious. I felt a lot better but was still upset that I had to deal with this for I don’t know how much longer. Perioral dermatitis usually last a few months and can come back. The hard part is since they do not know the exact ingredient or cause there isn’t an exact cure. Meaning I may be trying a bunch of different topical creams from my dermatologist. She gave me two topical creams to use and antibiotics to take (finally!). Thank goodness it seems to be working! My rash is almost cleared up except for a very faint red line— I basically have a red goatee which is not a look I am going for.

The second I got home from my appointment I immediately threw away most of my skincare products and makeup (couldn’t say goodbye to my Chanel lipsticks), went online and started to replenish everything with Beauty Counter products. Beauty Counter is a chemical free, healthy and safe skincare company. I have been using Beauty Counter for a few years now and knew that their products would be safe for me to use. Right now I am only using Cetaphil soap to wash my face and Cetaphil facial lotion until I am completely healed. Once I am, I am going to incorporate Beauty Counter back into my routine. I am now very much aware and cautious about what I put on my face. This does not mean I will never test out a product, it means I am going to carefully examine the ingredients of the product.  I googled ingredients to stay away from and the biggest one is SLS– sodium lauroyl sarcosinate and steroids. In fact steroids will temporarily cure PD but once you are finished with the cream and/or pill the rash will come back with vengeance. Of course the day after I found out about having perioral dermatitis I attended an event centered around skincare and makeup. I was suppose test out different brands and products. I felt terrible that I had to tell every single company there that I couldn’t try their product and the ones that I could like getting my hair done I refused to take a picture. I haven’t even taken outfit pics in a few weeks because of it.

Besides throwing away all of my skincare products I also googled natural home remedies for it. Apple cider vinegar helps kill any bacteria in your body so I sipped on that along with kombucha tea. I have also been eating yogurt every morning as it is filled with lots of probiotics. I am eating as clean as I can and drown myself with water. I believe what happens on the outside is caused by what is happening on the inside. Detoxing myself is needed.

I know there is a heck of a lot going on in the world and having a little rash is not that big of a deal, I completely understand and would agree. My rash (thank god) was so mild that with makeup (which I was not allow to wear but did anyway during fashion week) you couldn’t tell. Still I felt embarrassed and insecure. This wasn’t a little zit that I had to cover up, this was a full blown rash. It is now basically gone with a little reddish outline. It looks as if I just scratched my skin and it’s a little red. I am still on antibiotics and topical creams. I lay in bed every night praying to god for it to go away– like please kind sir. I was very hesitant in sharing my experience but thought, and know, that there is probably others out there suffering from PD– and to educate those of you who have not had it. What we put on and in our bodies is very important. Our government has not changed the laws of the chemicals used in our beauty and makeup products since the 1930’s….. that is a very long time ago.  Some companies still use lead in their products. You are literally putting poison on you. Europe has restricted 1,300 chemicals that we still use here in the US. Chemicals that are known to harm our bodies. It is no wonder I got perioral dermatitis from skincare products. Companies like Beauty Counter are really paving the way for safer and healthier products that we put on everyday on our bodies.I am hoping this is the last I will ever see of this rash. I know I will now be safer and more cautious with what I put on my body and in my body.