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bathrobe // book

Yesterday was a true testament to how addicted we are to our phones. When both Instagram and Facebook went down, people took to Twitter to express their dismay and to admit the habitual action of opening the apps even after learning they were down. At first I was a frustrated, I had yet to post and knew I needed to publish new content. This only lasted, surprisingly, a few minutes until I relished in the realization that I was free from the social media burden. I didn’t have to worry about how many likes I was getting or if someone was commenting on my post and making sure I respond within minutes. I didn’t mind-numbingly check peoples social accounts to see what they are up to or if they posted. I didn’t have to read peoples political or cultural rants.  Normally I would freak out until the beloved social platforms were fixed, but yesterday was different. Yesterday I felt relieved. So what did I do instead of scrolling through people’s vacay and baby pics? I read, took a walk around the city, and I actually took the time to do my work instead of getting distracted by Insta Stories. Sure if this was the weekend I would probably have done more but a gal still needs to work. Money does not grow on trees apparently. Ugh, sigh. Anyway, since I have a concrete website, having Instagram down did not hurt my business. You can’t put all your eggs in one basket. So while people were freaking out about content, I was working on blog posts.

Being off of social media is something we need to do. And this is coming from someone who is on their phone all of the time and who loves the world wide web. Still it is good for us to take a break once in a while. It is something I keep trying to do; kind of like going to the gym or eating healthy for some, I keep saying this is the week I will take a whole day off of social media… and it never happens. During the week I use it for work and the weekends I am curious to see what people are up to. It’s a never ending battle. We all know what kind of a world we live in where social media rules our lives. We are less connected than ever before when most of today’s youth prefer to interact through their phones instead of face to face. We base our attitudes and goals off of what we see others posting (reminder: people are only posting their best life). And the worse part, people use these platforms to hurt others and say nasty things. But I believe social media isn’t all that bad. I like to look at these apps as a source of inspiration, creativity, news, love, connecting. For me social media connects me to others who also have the same values, style, interests and so on. It reminds me that I am not alone in my struggles. I have learned so much and have met so many people through social media. The giant social forums are not awful if you use it for good. Still it is good to have an outage every once in a while. Here are 6 reasons why taking a break from social media is good for you.

1. Focus on yourself: When we scroll through social media we are concentrating on others. We see people’s accomplishments, weddings, babies, fabulous new outfits, concerts, etc. We are not living in the present moment. I am guilty of opening up social media to numb out my thoughts or to escape from whatever is stressing me out. Instead of doing this we need to face what is going on right in front of us. Social media never makes me feel better if I am in a bad mood, it actually makes me feel worse because I go down a spiral of not feeling good enough. Focus on yourself. Who really cares what other people are doing. A picture is just a picture. You do not know what is going on behind the scenes– the couple could be fighting like crazy, the vacation may not be as peaceful as it seems, someone may be feeling alone and sad but puts on a happy smile for a selfie. You never know so stop focusing on what others are doing, and tune into yourself.

2. You don’t need validation: The number of likes, comments or followers you get does not mean you are more popular or better at something. I have seen plenty of influencers spike up to over 100K in less than a year and it’s not always trustworthy followers. Someone with only 30K followers may have a better relationship and a more interactive following than someone with 1.2M. Numbers are just numbers and they don’t validate the type of person you are and your work, especially now with the algorithm. I am definitely guilty of wanting more followers and likes and feel good when someone comments “you look amazing.” Taking a break from social media, even for a day, will get you to noticed what is good in your own life. Lets say you finished a project for work or school, you feel amazing and proud of yourself, stay off of social media and relish in this feeling for the rest of the day. Don’t go on and get discouraged because someone is surfing with dolphins in Thailand. Validate yourself– what you think about yourself is the only important opinion you need.

3. It helps you set boundaries and move on: Trust me when I say after a breakup it is so much harder to move on when all you are doing is looking at your exes social media accounts; block them, unfriend them, or set a boundary for yourself to not look at it. You broke up for a reason, whether or not you were the one to initiate it. Keep them in the review mirror and don’t look back. Even when looking at their new girlfriends photos makes you feel so much better about yourself or seeing that your life is way more fabulous than his, set boundaries and get off of social. Let them wonder what you are doing. It can be hard to do, but taking a break from social media will give you time to process the break up and heal. Work on yourself.

4. Find new interests: I have started coloring in my Vogue adult coloring book. I do it when I have been on social media for way too long and need a distraction from it. It gives me a chance to be creative, it’s calming, it makes me feel like a little girl again, and I already know I am good at staying in the lines so I do not need to think. I got into coloring after my niece was born. I would be coloring with her (she does not stay in the lines) and it reminded me of how much I enjoy doing it. Why did I ever stop? Because I got older? That is lame. You, of course, do not have to color, you can find another hobby to pursue.  Maybe you have always want to cook, play an instrument, train for a marathon, knit, learn a new skill like photoshop. I love to learn something new and find online classes to take. Anything that would take the time away from social media. There are days I am on my phone for so long that I realize I do not have time for anything else, or I feel so obsessed and stuck on social media that my attention can’t go towards anything else. Moments like when I want to read my book but I keep checking my phone, this is a sign I need a break from social media.

5. Enjoy the little moments in life: One of the things I am working on is to be present in the moment. This means no phones during meals, taking a moment to enjoy a cup of matcha, walk around the city listening to music or the sounds of what surrounds me. To meditate for a few minutes and silence the world or sit in the park and watch people walk by. To read outside. Actually enjoy a show or movie without checking your phone the whole time. To hold conversations with someone without thinking about checking your phone. To enjoy the sunshine on your face or the snow on your eyelashes. We walk around with our eyes glued to our phones, we are missing out on what is around us. Reconnect with life by taking a social media break.

6. Connect with people in real life: Two weeks ago I went home for a long weekend. I found it was the perfect opportunity to do a “lite” social media detox. I did my work due diligence, but spent the rest of the weekend being present with my family. As someone who is always with bloggers I am used to the no eating rule until I get the perfect picture or this backdrop is amazing lets take outfit shots. While I am never bothered by it, it is part of my job and I am more than happy to create content, it is nice to be around people who do not whip out their phones to capture every moment. My dad especially is good at telling me to put my phone away and pay attention. I also enjoy moments like going on dates or being at the movies, even working out, when I have an excuse to put my phone away. It’s important for us to stay connected face to face, to have that human touch. Being the only one working on my blog I do get pretty lonely. I crave any opportunity to talk to someone, to feel that connection, even if it is the local barista. Take a break from social media and ask a friend, family member, or a significant other to take a walk or go have dinner. Then take that time to really connect, be present, and enjoy being with them.